Monday Musings – This Thing Called Dieting

I’m fat. Not grossly fat. Like 2 seats in an airplane fat. But fatter than I should be for my height.

When I look in the mirror I see a round person staring back at me. Cheekbones are still there but they’re struggling mightily to be seen under the squish. Am I unhealthy? That depends on where you look for input. Some studies say that people with a little squish are better off than skin and bones types. I’m definitely not skin and bones but I don’t think I’m obese either. I have middle of the road squish. Still, it really doesn’t matter how fat I am if my clothes don’t fit or I feel like a beach ball rolling around the house. When the way I look gets in the way of my life, it’s probably time to do something about it.

I’m basically a very motivated person. If I set my mind to something, I generally put my nose to the grindstone and keep it there until I get the task done. (Or I have no nose left hehehe) So why is losing and keeping weight off so hard? Too much Estrogen? Slow metabolism? Squirrel storing fat for Winter? (My own personal favorite) Or just plain over eating? I’m probably like most of you. I don’t overeat on a regular basis. I have days when I eat everything that crosses under my nose (ooh, mouse, yum) and though I have great intentions, my energy output is sporadic.

Here’s the real issue though. I’m a food addict. I love food. I love the look of it, the taste of it, the smell of it. I love the feelings it gives me when I eat, the memories of family and fun it induces. Sigh… I just love food. But unlike other addictions, you can’t give food up. You can’t avoid it. All you can do is eat bland, tasteless, ishy stuff you would never touch if you had a choice. And you can only eat it in serving sizes as big as your little finger. Yum, sign me up. Add to that little bit of torture the fact that you also need to exercise, thus burning away the tidbit of food your diet allows you to consume and making you so hungry that, yes, even that mouse looks good.

In addition, your routines get all screwed up. You can’t enjoy that glass of wine at night anymore. Popcorn at the movies? A distant memory. And a visit home is pure torture, because your always skinny sister, niece and nephew-in-law can eat pretty much anything they want without ever gaining weight. I hate their guts.

Sigh… No wonder this dieting crap is so hard.

Do I ever wish I was a zombie, able to eat and eat and eat and never gain weight? Yes. Do I HATE people who can eat whatever they want and not battle their weight. Oh mama do I!

Yesterday I tried to eat my fingers with a little salt. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

But I’m trying…

Pray for me.


Monday Musings – Why I LOVE Mondays!

Yeah, it’s probably a little weird to love Mondays. I most likely wouldn’t feel the same way if I were doing a 9 to 5, Monday through Friday job that I hated. I get that. But I’m lucky because I get to do what I love to do. Even though it’s sometimes really hard to make myself sit down and start writing, I love being an author and I love the stories I create. So that helps. But it’s more than that.

Mondays are like a mini season change.

I love all the seasons, but by the time they’re dying down I’m more than ready to welcome in the next one. Mondays are like that to me. Weekends are great, but I fill every minute with stuff I want and need to do and, honestly, by Sunday night I’m exhausted and ready to go back into my office. LOL

Mondays are like a flower bud, slowly opening to reveal the bright bloom of the rest of the week. On Mondays the color is bright, the petals soft and vibrant, and the sweet scent is still strong. As the week ages, so does the bloom. It’s why we try so many tricks to make Wednesdays and Thursdays more interesting. Hump day and Throw-back Thursday serve to mask the wilting week and give us something to think about other than the fact that the water around our flower is getting slimy. LOL

Fridays are a whole different animal. On Fridays we finally throw out the wilted, sad little bud and look eagerly toward the next phase. Weekends don’t need flowers, they don’t need tricks, they’re like rainbows that draw us in with their innate magic. But by Sunday night we start to anticipate the change again. Sometimes that’s a melancholy thought. Sometimes it’s fat with expectation…but whichever way we view the new week, it’s still a fresh new flower, remanded into our care by Father Time.

So embrace the new bud of this week. Nestle it carefully in your palm. Because every day is a gift and every week is a lesson in maturation. Which makes every moment a blessing.

Happy reading, Everybody!

Monday Musings – Facing Challenges

Last week one of my dogs ran under the car as I was coming up the drive and he now has a broken leg and fractured tail. He was lucky. This morning three of my dogs fought and my sweet little cattle dog alpha is now at the vet getting stitches. She was lucky too. It was horrible. I’m still an emotional mess.

Sometimes it seems like life just kicks you in the ribs and then, while you’re gasping for breath, hits you over the head. I’m waiting for the shoe enema which is sure to come. After all, they say bad things always come in threes.

I don’t want a third bad thing. Especially if it has to do with my dogs. I’m already reeling.

When you have times like this your first thought is often to go to bed and pull the covers over your head. I always give that option some thought and then reject it. I’m much better if I’m proactive. The worst thing about having bad things happen to you is the feeling that you have no control. Being proactive puts you in control again. Then you need to fix or at least repair as best you can the results. Sometimes the best you can do is take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. As unsatisfactory as these actions might be, they’re positive steps in the right direction.

Most important is an awareness that the bad will pass and the good will return. That might be the hardest thing of all. But it is true. And a positive outlook can go a long way toward making you feel better.

That’s what I’m working on right now. #:0)

Positive thoughts everybody!

Monday Musings – Are You Your Own Hero?

Matthew McConaughey made what some considered a strange speech at the Oscars last night, where he spoke of being asked who his hero was and giving a very curious answer. Here’s basically what he said:

When he was a teen, someone asked him who his hero was. He responded that he was his own hero. Or he would be in ten years. The same person came back to him in 10 years and asked him if he’d become his own hero yet. McConaughey responded with some surprise that, no, he hadn’t yet, but that he expected to be his own hero in ten more years.

Some were perplexed by this little parable, thinking either that it made no sense or that it was an ego trip of massive proportions. Neither is true. McConaughey was making a point about self-growth and goal setting.

Nope, I’m not yanking your chain. That’s what I believe his message was.

In order to grow as a person, you have to strive for it. You can’t just sit back and take each day as it comes, reacting but not planning or attempting to learn anything or improve the results. You have to set a goal to be a better person tomorrow, next week, next month, or in 10 years. You have to strive to improve…to learn…to reach a series of smaller goals that will ultimately help you hone in on a much bigger one. You’ll most likely never quite reach that goal, because you’ll always know you can be better. You can do better. You can improve. But you’ll continue to grow. Because you’re actively working toward that goal.

And in the end, that’s all you really need to do. Be the best you can be at any given moment…and know that you will continue to find a way to be better.


Monday Musings – Small Bites, Large Appetite

I have a problem. I guess it’s a small problem in the scheme of things, but it feels kind of big to me.

I’m impatient.  I want things to happen now and of course real life rarely accommodates my urgent timetable.

It’s a constant source of frustration for me. And I’m not sure how to deal with it. I keep thinking that I’ll eventually grow patience like I’ve grown slightly thicker skin over the years. But it doesn’t seem to be happening. I don’t feel any more patient now than I did ten years ago. In fact I might be worse.

So I ask myself, how does one deal with the tight chest feeling and anger that comes from wanting something to happen quickly and realizing that it isn’t going to, no matter how hard you try to make it so? I try to distract myself. I try being proactive, looking for ways to beat the system. I try gritting my teeth and stomping my feet.  Alas, none of that works (so surprising). The universe has its own timetable and it could give a flying frog about mine. Telling myself I’m impatient because I have goals helps a little. It turns a negative into a partial positive. I mean, having goals is important and good. It gives every day meaning and offers many opportunities for success. Goals are good. But the journey to meeting them can’t be fraught with frustration or it takes away from the healthy aspect of setting the goals.

So how do I deal?

I’ve decided to set smaller goals. That’s all smoke and mirrors, you say? I don’t think so. Meeting a goal is a real accomplishment. Even if the goal is a small one. Meeting a small goal along the way to a big one gives you the energy to keep slogging and fighting toward the ultimate objective, turning frustration into positive energy.

No matter how you look at it, that’s all good.