We knew we shouldn’t do it. we told ourselves not to get cocky. But we did it anyway. Every day of dry ground, warm temps and sunshine was like an extra french fry in the bag…a thirteenth brownie in the box…a gift from the weather gods. Alas, just when we thought we had this icy thing called “Winter” licked, it whipped around and bit us right in the ass.
So, old man Winter…day after day of ridiculously frigid temps and snow up to my knees isn’t enough? No trash pickup for days didn’t do it for you? Kids out of school for weeks isn’t torture enough? Dogs piddling in the house rather than face your icy, menacing breath? You didn’t think that was enough torture? No. Now I hear you’re extending the abuse for several more days. Well…I’ve had it. I’m done. I’m just not going to participate anymore. As of right now, it’s Spring.
I don’t see your snowy beard or feel your icy breath. You are green and warm and little birdies are singing.
You can’t break me.
I’ll just dive right into the delusions that help me make a living.
Shit’s real now, isn’t it? Yeah, I see you quaking in your boots. But those boots are dry, dammit! And flowers are growing out of them.
Such pretty flowers…